Her

why is it that when you actually end up losing the one you love, you end up realizing their importance.
It could be anyone.. someone in your family, a friend or anyone else.
It breaks my heart into a million little pieces.
Some things make me sad..
I read somewhere a while ago that if somethings make you sad, then let them go.
But i find that letting them go ends up making you more sad..
'because you were happier when they were with you.
Granny has been unwell for some time.
I've grown up with her.. she's old now.. unable to walk by herself.
I love her. There was a phase in my life when i'd gotten disconnected from her. I was too busy in my own world.

Then came the sudden realization.. i realize it now especially when i see her health getting deteriorating by the day. I wish i could make it better for her. I wish i could heal her.. but how do i?
It breaks me inside.. apart from other things.. but i've grown into this person who refuses to tell her sadness to anyone.. its' hard to bring out.
Its' all inside.


I hate blogging about things like this. Things that make you vulnerable and fragile.. things that go deep.. but you've got to turn to someone / something to let it out.
They say that paper is more patient than man.. but when i sit down to actually write, words are extremely hard to bring out.

cricket and basketball

I fucking want to go back to the days when i used to play cricket and basketball..!
Lol i remember back in school I used to be the shortest :'( and used to stand in front but my friends were like 5'8  :/ and they still couldn't manage to get the ball into the basket! :D
Woopies! But i always did :P
Those were the days.. woah! Fun fun times!
One of the reasons i figured why people are so unhappy these days is because they've stopped doing what they loved.. Arrrrgh!
Then go the hell back and do those things again! Simple?
Dude i can be one hell of an advice giver :D heh :D
I'm out now! 

P

She was an acquaintance, not a friend. I'd only met her once.. at a gig and yet every time I go to art fairs, photo festivals, I'd always wished I could bump into her and talk to her.
She seems intriguing to me. I'm curious for the sake of photographing her.
I've always wanted to take a portrait of her and bring out a certain hidden aspect of her personality that no one has been able to do before.. something that she hasn't been able to do it herself.
There's something about her. She's in her mid 30s - there's a huge age difference and yet i've always felt like we could be friends.
I've always had a feeling we would be great friends, if we ever become one.
I want to capture her intimately and bring out her soul.

a million questions

It feels weird.. weird in a weird way.. weird in a strange way.. just plain weird.
Why do people keep so much to themselves? Wouldn't it be nice if all of us could express more..?
Who am i to say "why don't you express"? I don't express either much as i try to.
I rarely ever show my real feelings to anyone.
Why are we the way we are? Why does this happen the way it happens?
why does it have to be the way it is? Why can't it be the way we want it to..?
A million questions on my mind.. i seek.

strange blurry dreams..

The morning felt strange.. I woke up feeling strange about the dreams i saw last night..

The entire night was spent in dreaming.. i did not stop dreaming for a moment. Its' something i clearly remember. 

In one dream.. i was running.. not running away.. just running.. with someone who claimed to be a friend.. we were hoping to reach till the end.. and we did.

That dream ended there. I know why i had a dream like that.

It was longing, my longing for something.. which i cannot reveal here.

In another dream.. i was with a group of strangers... we did strange things.

..

waiting

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thetruthis

The truth is.. if you lose something and if it means something to you..  you ARE going to try and get it back.
If it doesn't, you're going to let it go.

Didn't I tell you


not to go to that place?


It is me, who is your intimate friend.


In this imaginary plain of non-existence,


I am your spring of eternal life

Even if you lose yourself in wrath

for a hundred thousand years,

at the end you will discover,

it is me, who is the culmination of your dreams.

Didn't I tell you

not to be satisfied with the veil of this world?



Didn't I tell you?

I am an ocean, you are a fish;

do not go to the dry land,

it is me, who is your comforting body of water.

Didn't I tell you

not to fall in this trap like a blind bird?

I am your wings, I am the strength in your wings,

I am the wind keeping you in flight