Life

I am losing out on time.. I feel.
I am being left behind.. Everyone has left the road and moved ahead, way way ahead and I'm still here standing on the road and waiting for them.
My life has mostly been about waiting for people. People, even when they have already left the road and moved far away but I've found myself stagnant, in the same position struggling to move on, trying to grasp how people change so fast.
The complexities of life.

I try to laugh and brush it off aside, deep down knowing I do care.

There's a lot going on in my mind right now.

No matter how much I try to bring things out and talk about it, I can't so I thought I should blog about it and let it go so it makes me feel better but the words don't come out.

They just remain inside..

Why i can't bring myself to talk about you

Why can't i bring myself to talk about You? With anyone? with anyone at all for that matter.
Love is an understatement. It's beyond.
What do i feel? Do i even have words to explain what you are to me? NO i don't.

the words just stop right here, they stop right here.

I can't explain, i can't describe it, i can't talk about You.
You are so intensely personal to me, so much,

Like the mountain that keeps an echo deep inside - thats how I hold you.

Longing..

In the shadows of passion.. 

I long for your love..

I am..

I am your sunshine when you're cold..
I am the silence between your lips
i am what you always come back to..
I am your light in the dark..
I am your Faith in despair
I am what you could not let go of..

i am the world that makes your world complete..
i am the secret love you long for..
i am the glint in your eye..
i am the words you can't express..
i am all thats always on your mind..
i am the time you can't rewind..
i am the sadness you embrace..
I am the sunshine falling upon your face.


~me


.

me

"You believe in everything apart from yourself and your ..." i was told.
"I believe in me but at the same time i dont believe in..." i said
"You don't have to believe in anyone else but you.." the voice answered back.
"Sometimes you just gotta believe more.."

I was beginning to believe that the people who "knew" me did not actually "know' me..
they didn't know the real me..
What followed after was insecurity and sadness.. an unexplainable feeling when you can't express how you feel.. and the feeling was not too happy.

I don't know if i am a happy-go-lucky person..
I am not. I know i am not.

I am just someone.. i don't know.. there's so much..
maybe you would want to know someday.

It makes no difference to me..

It makes no difference to me how much money you have..

I absolutely do not care what car you drive..

I do not care about where you live..

I don't give a fuck about how hot you are..

I don't care who you hang out with.. 

NOTHING MATTERS .

Absolutely nothing.

To me at least.

Nothing but a good heart.

Two souls

We were two souls fighting the darkness in the middle of gloom.

dreams and intimacy

The morning felt strangely beautiful.. because of the dreams that i had last night..
the dreams were physical to the point where i loved intimacy..
i hadn't seen a single face in my dreams..
what poured out of the subconscious was a strange awakening..