I've moved on too.
I am floating with the crowd.
I've left them behind.
And I'm not going back.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Change
I do not know why I felt like writing today. I guess I have a lot of things on my mind. In a certain way I am disappointed with myself for being cold, cold towards people who love / loved me.
Yes, I am a deserter. Yes I walk away from relationships and people. It's much easier to walk away than hanging in there. I hadn't realized how much people actually missed me and tried to gave me little hints still of how much they missed me even though I am not in their life anymore, until now.
I feel sorry. I feel sorry to have let you down. I do not know why I've become cold and indifferent.
I do not know why certain relations that mattered earlier, do not matter anymore.
I've tried to analyze my behavior and the answers I get is that I have changed for a reason. I've been hurt a lot in the past. It broke my heart into pieces. I hated being emotional.
Change was my only refuge.
And so, I had to change.
I finally feel comfortable in my vacuum where I've tucked my heart away somewhere.
And it's a nice comfortable space to be in.
Yes, I am a deserter. Yes I walk away from relationships and people. It's much easier to walk away than hanging in there. I hadn't realized how much people actually missed me and tried to gave me little hints still of how much they missed me even though I am not in their life anymore, until now.
I feel sorry. I feel sorry to have let you down. I do not know why I've become cold and indifferent.
I do not know why certain relations that mattered earlier, do not matter anymore.
I've tried to analyze my behavior and the answers I get is that I have changed for a reason. I've been hurt a lot in the past. It broke my heart into pieces. I hated being emotional.
Change was my only refuge.
And so, I had to change.
I finally feel comfortable in my vacuum where I've tucked my heart away somewhere.
And it's a nice comfortable space to be in.
Friday, January 10, 2014
Things and Secrets
I want to write.
But I cannot.
Everything just remains inside and I cannot express.
Things are left unsaid when I have so much to say..
I am a very un-expressive person by nature. Somehow it's comforting to not share.
I have no patience with people. I give up on them too easily.
But I cannot.
Everything just remains inside and I cannot express.
Things are left unsaid when I have so much to say..
I am a very un-expressive person by nature. Somehow it's comforting to not share.
I have no patience with people. I give up on them too easily.